Why seems to be the one question that everyone defaults to when things are not going the way that was expected. Toddlers will wear down the toughest adult with the incessant repetition of the whys. Teenagers challenge ever rule and request with a why that demands explanation – even if the request INCLUDED an explanation.
Adults also default to the why of it all. They demand to know why something happened, why things cost so much or why it always rains on their day off. Most of them want to know why they are here.
The answers are not always that relevant to the question. The truth is that most of the time why comes up only when I am not getting my way. I have never caught myself complaining because things were going my way – and I have not heard many others shouting “why me!” with mournful regret when they get that job they wanted or that check they needed.
Beyond the Why
• Not everything is about me. Sometimes I am where I am because someone else needs something. Maybe they need to receive some encouragement. Maybe they need to learn from example. Maybe they need to be in a position to give a blessing that could never be returned. I have to stop worrying about the I in order to clear out the fog that hides reason.
• It is NEVER as bad as it seems (or as bad as someone might have it). It may be bad – and as bad as I have ever experienced in my life. But if I am willing to look around me I can always find someone that I can reach out and help. Helping relieves the pressure of my own situation.
• Something good exists. Every situation and every moment produces positive and negative results. It may require serious excavation to unlock the positive, but it is there. Dig down, polish it up and look at that silver whenever the whys start to moan in your head or in your heart.
• The thing you focus on becomes the focus. I will always see the clouds if I look for them and never search for the sun. I will miss the blooming flowers if I only look for the dead trees in the yard. I will always see and feel the devastation if I never invest in the hope.
• It does not have to make sense. Life happens and most of the time it never follows the script. The sooner I realize that the way things work out may not make sense to the rational mind the easier it will be for me to move on.
The why of it all has no effect on the situation. I am where I am and the why will not change that fact. I have to make specific choices that will push me past the why if I want to live in a life that sees the sun, enjoys the flowers and relishes in the hope.
Reset the default switch. Reach out and help others. Dig down to discover the silver lining. Determine right now to find a way to look beyond the why of your situation.